conservative v. intolerant

Man, I just lost this whole post so let's see if I can recreate and perhaps be a bit more succinct in recreating it.

Most small towns are conservative. The smaller the number of people, the more rules, the narrower the parameters for what is considered acceptable. Now, there may be crazy liberal towns (like Las Vegas) but that's actually a world-class city. I'm talking small, usually rural, towns. Living in a small town, as I have been for the last few weeks, I can almost always use the word conservative interchangeably with intolerant especially when conversing with religious types. (yeh, weird how I don't really put myself in the "religious type" category although I am Roman Catholic and currently writing a blog about my thoughts on faith and the Passion of Christ!)

I understand conservatives. I am married to one, my best friend is one, you get the picture. But I am pretty much a bleeding-heart liberal. I like to help people, feel a civic duty to do so and like to think I'm open-minded about how people live their lives. (In all honesty, I could not care one hoot about people's sexuality or preference and hope they are not sitting around thinking about mine.) But I know some folks who've made choices I would not have made for myself and dangit, they are still wonderful people.

But this small town thing has got me scratching my head. And the list of unacceptable things keeps getting longer: they drink, they're gay, they are having sex, they don't go to church, they cuss (guilty, Lord, guilty, guilty, guilty) they say off-color jokes, they are actors. But the biggest one has got to be that "they" don't live their lives like we do, believe in the same things we do, behave in the same ways we do, love who God says is acceptable." And when those things are accompanied by "cuz Jesus said so," I can barely speak.

Let's get some things straight: Jesus was poor and for all intents and purposes, homeless for most of his ministry; his friends were whores, and tax collectors and all those who live on the fringe of society; he didn't say squat about homosexuals - just "love one another as I have loved you" [subtext, you lying, imperfect, whoring friends of mine whom I love warts and all], and BTW, if the gay issue didn't even make the top ten in the Old Testament, how important could it have been?; he broke the Sabbath by healing, he worried his mother; he was a feminist; he drank wine - daily; he hated the posturing of those who thought they were better than Everyman Mike (Pharisees anyone?). And the thing is, this intolerance becomes so exclusive as to who can be on the train to heaven, that it ends up sounding like crazy talk! That's not at all what was intended. That's one of the big differences between God in the Jewish and Christian faiths. I'm being very simple here, but the savior they still believe is to come, is for the Jewish people. Christ, the new covenant, is for everyone, Jew, Gentile, and everything in between.

There are two ways that I see to go about this issue: you don't like what someone does or believes? Then don't vote for them, frequent their place of business or maybe try to avoid them (good luck in that small town of yours!). Or you can ask them to explain why they believe this or behave that way in an attempt to understand. I used to tour with a woman who was a born-again Christian and she often could be heard saying, "I don't mean to judge..." Stop. Hold the phone. You just judged. And sometimes that's ok, when we use it as a filter for things like:
-do I have enough time to make this turn without getting sideswiped?
-I bet I probably will get $1,000,000 if I answer this email and send $35 Western Union to Africa!
-this place seems really filthy - can I eat here without getting ptomaine?
-I don't think I'd better drive home after those 7 margaritas.

But when we weigh in on humanity, other's humanity and then make a judgement along the lines of "I'm better than you and Jesus loves me more," well, it's not at all what he intended. And frankly, it's not our job.

So to my seemingly close-minded neighbors in small towns, here are some gems of Jesus' (and I'm paraphrasing).

Let him who is without sin be the first to cast a stone.
It is not what goes in the mouth that defiles it, but what comes out of the mouth that defiles it.
How is it that you notice the speck in your neighbors eye but not the log in your own eye?
In response to Peter asking how many times a person should be forgiven? Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

So, lighten up Francis, it's not for you to judge.