These last few days have been long and difficult. With a possible hiccup in the venue, things have been on hold. No point in continuing if we don't have a venue. I have been buoyed by dear friends who help me to see the light even as I feel the darkness coming on strong, and for them I am most grateful.
The Passion I envisioned was a concept that includes the show, the music, the audience, the donkey, the lights, the universal themes, but also the venue, the marketing, the press materials, the people in the cast, the audience participation. I understand downsizing and making sacrafices, but how much can be given up before it doesn't resemble what I wanted it to be? And while I am a proponent of "less is more," when the less becomes something I hardly recognize, that's a problem for me.
I'm really trying to hear what it is I'm supposed to be doing or understand that his answer might be "not now." The obstacles have increased and with a limited number of people, it may not be the time, as sad as that makes me. I hope to start the week either with renewed vigor and steam or with a sense of peace and acceptance that the project will have to be postponed. Stay tuned.
"Postponed" is still better than "never," and you shouldn't have to sacrifice everything you dreamed this show/experience was going to be in order to do it now.
ReplyDeleteIf there is the possibility of doing it later on, and getting everything nearly pitch-perfect -- as opposed to doing it now and settling for one too many things -- I would take the former, as much as it hurts and disappoints.
Remember, like we had discussed two years ago when revamping SATE's mission and duties, don't do a show just for the sake of doing a show. That's not what we're about as a company, and that's not what Passion is about for you. You should never have to settle or compromise to the point where you don't even recognize your own creation.
And if it comes to postponing, you're still allowed to be sad and disappointed and drink heavily with me and probably cry. While "it is what it is," it's still okay to be hurt. And I'll still love you.
Thanks SJ. I;m grateful for your support and love.
ReplyDeleteDarkness is NEVER a bad thing, Pam...because without the darkness, it would be impossible for us to notice the Light. We are given these opportunities to bolster our certainty, and it is my sincere belief (I HATE that word, by the way, because it implies that there is another option, and I know that being certain is all...) that our moments of doubt open up the flood-gates to certainty. The fact that you even listen for that small voice of certainty is such a testimony to the certainty you already have.
ReplyDeletePassion will happen the way that it is supposed to happen, and we just have to be prepared, always, to accept that "our" vision/time is not necessarily the Universes' vision/time. Flexibility is our friend, figuratively and actually.
Love and Light,
Margeau