a new week

I started this blog with such enthusiasm last week, only to have things spiral away from me like water in my hands. Thursday through Saturday were extremely tough as I came to doubt my company, my God and my vision. Now, it takes a LOT for me to lose my poise  - oh, I can get angry, emotional, aggressive  - but I'm talking a full-on "the world is ending" meltdown. Most disturbing was my doubt in God, who I suddenly felt had stopped listening to me, and who clearly didn't want me to create this piece. As unbelieving as that sounds, given the nature of Passion, I most assuredly felt abandoned by the one who had inspired me in the first place. If that's not reason for a meltdown, I don't know what is! You can imagine how dark THOSE hours were! But I soon realized that He does answer prayers, it's just not always the answer we want, when we want them.

Without going into too much detail, I realized the "not now" answer was not "NO." An intervention of sorts occurred and my closest friends came to assist me. I am passionate about theatre - GOOD THEATRE. I revel in the way SATE artists create pieces that take your breath and equilibrium away. I find myself disappointed in theatre that leaves me unmoved. In truth, I have the expectation that every show I go to should be a religious experience, so those two things are completely intertwined for me. My vision of Passion is about this also. Without having a call to worship, an effort to find converts, or degrading any other faiths, I want to develop a piece about the universal themes present in the Passion: relationships between mother and son, friends, a betrayal, a corrupt government, strong arm tactics that can put a man to death when he has done nothing wrong. It is, for me, an ideal marraige of my faith and my calling. Whether or not it is your faith, I have yet to find the person who doesn't know who that man on the cross is and it's a riveting story to tell.

Passion will happen. Not exactly when I wanted it to, but when the timing is right. (Technically, it will most likely be pushed back just a bit to accomplish the vision.) I am so appreciative of the support I have received. I am blessed.